Top 5 Things You Didn't Know about Fall

Autumn is in the air so we thought we'd hit you with the Top 5 Things You Didn't Know about Fall to get you ready for the season at hand.

1. Fall is the horniest season*

The declining temperatures creates and sends horny hormones through the primordial cortex, which causes more people to settle down/for less so that they don't have to face shorter days alone. Plus, the aroma of pumpkin is a natural aphrodisiac. So while you might not like pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks, their ubiquity are likely the reason your sex life is so good.

*Note: Fall is only the horniest season in the Northern Hemisphere. In the Southern Hemisphere, the wet season is the horniest season.

2. Blame Benjamin Franklin for "Falling" Back an Hour

Daylights Saving Time was first suggested in an essay by Benjamin Franklin in 1784. And you know what? I hope Ben Franklin is burning in hell because of it. The day the clocks turn back is fine, I guess. An extra hour of sleep is cool but 3 months of total darkness after 4 p.m. is not. Fuck you. Fuck you and your $100 bill face,  Ben Franklin. You've made our lives miserable.

Yes, the man was a brilliant writer, helped prove that lightning is electricity and help found America...but he also believed that the common cold could be cured by "air bathing". Franklin didn't think the common cold was caused by cold air but because we were stuck in close quarters without enough circulation. So he came up with "air bathing", which essentially means that he would open the windows in his house and sit by them in the nude as a form of cleansing.

All I'm saying is that not all of his ideas were good. Especially not Daylight Saving Time. But especially not air baths.

3. Hoodies are for fall

History's first recorded hoodie was produced in Old Forge, New York sometime in the 1930s to protect hikers from errant leaves falling on their heads.

4. Beware the Corn Maze

Last Fall, approximately 35 million Canadians were declared missing persons because they were separated from their friends and family for nearly 30 minutes due to corn mazes. Don't let your self get lost in a corn maze. If you do enter a corn maze, make sure you bring a map or at the very least a machete so that you can cut your way out. It's just a PR nightmare for our country to have our entire country's population cumulatively declared missing because of some stupid corn maze.

5. Halloween!

We had some trivia about Halloween but then we started thinking of skeletons and mummies and draculas and freakensteins and we got too spooked to remember!

Enjoy the Fall y'all! 😘🍔☕️🍻😊🔫👏🙌