5. Mark Normand
Mark Normand is a vivacious brunette from Kitchener, Ontario. At 47 years young, he’s a successful roadie who, over the course of his 30-plus years in showbiz, has worked with the likes of Twisted Sister, Thin Lizzy and April Wine. Mark looks forward to servicing Quiet Riot (a group he considers to be the “best fuckin’ most ragin-est fuckin’ band of all fuckin’ time, maaaaaan”) before, during and after their upcoming gig at Kitchener City Hall on July 22, 2016. Mark’s aspirations include smoking a “fatty” with current Quiet Riot frontman Jizzy Pearl and having the opportunity to shred on stage with The Boss. Dislikes include “starfuckers” and his ex-wife, Donna.
4. Mark Normand
Mark Normand is a bubbly blonde from Chateaugay, Quebec. He disappeared from his suburban home without his phone or wallet on June 1, 2016 and hasn’t been seen since. He’s 35 years old, 5’5 and was last seen wearing nothing but jogging pants. A quick glance at his body would suggest that he eats too many hot dogs, but not much else. If you have information regarding the whereabouts of Mark Normand, please contact the Brunch Club immediately. He owes us $10.
3. Mark Normand
Mark Normand is a fiery redhead from New Haven, Connecticut. He claims to be a happily married real estate agent but isn’t all that great at keeping up the façade. We hope that by including him on this list, we help him feel a sense of purpose for the very first time in his miserable life.
2. Mark Normand
Mark Normand is a silver fox-type from Toledo, Ohio. Despite an overly keen interest in animals of all kinds, he is “not” involved in the trafficking of exotic pets.
1. Mark Normand
Mark Normand is a strapping and hilarious young comedian based in New York City. He brings joy and laughter to the hearts of many, making him the greatest Mark Normand on this list by far. Unlike the four budget Mark Normands featured on this list, Mark Normand The Great is actually relevant - you might recognize him from Horace and Pete, Inside Amy Schumer or @Midnight. Heck, he was even featured on IMDB user whitewood1’s “Luminaries” list, featuring 635 artists that exemplify “TV and Media Hunks and Hotness”! If you’re a fan of hunks, hotness and/or humour (or happen to be one of the previously mentioned lesser M.N.s looking to up your game), you can catch Mark Normand The Great performing his show Don’t Be Yourself live at OFF-JFL July 27, 29 and 30.
Honourable Mention: London-based body builder-turned-masseur Mark Norman. Had be been a Normand, he’d probably be #2. We still advise him to see the show, though.