The Death Of Jack Nicholson

Two men are sitting at a coffee shop terrace, drinking long shots of espresso with frothed milk. They're sitting in the sun, facing the sidewalk watching the pedestrians walk by. One of them turns to the other after minutes of silence.

Man 1: Jack Nicholson died.
Man 2: What? How Do You Know?
Man 1: The Crossing Guard told me. Tommy. Plus, it's all over the Broadcast News.
Man 2: Jesus. I can't breathe. I'm seeing Reds.
Man 1: I know. He's Going South.
Man 2: I don't want to be The Cry-Baby Killer here, but I'm upset.
Man 1: Keep it together, man, it's not like Mars Attacks.
Man 2: I know but still. Another legend gone? I mean, Something's Gotta Give.
Man 1: Well, dems The Missouri Breaks.
Man 2: You know what? Meeting him was on my Bucket List.
Man 1: Me too, actually. I took The Pledge to shake his hand one day.
Man 2: How'd he die?
Man 1: Police say there might have been The Shooting.
Man 2: That's awful. I'm getting Heartburn.
Man 1: One right in the Head. Just Blood And Wine everywhere ...
Man 2: Stop. I think I'm gonna Hoffa.
Man 1: Yeah. Apparently it was a Little Shop of Horrors in there.
Man 2: What About Schmidt? Does he know?
Man 1: I called him.
Man 2: And The Two Jakes?
Man 1: I had The Fortune of letting them know too.
Man 2: They must've broken into Five Easy Pieces.
Man 1: Yeah, that phone call was no Easy Rider.
Man 2: Boy, he's really dead. That's a Psych-Out.
Man 1: He was As Good As It Gets.
Man 2: One of A Few Good Men.
Man 1: What a Wolf.
Man 2: Excuse me?
Man 1: I mean it as a Terms Of Endearment.
Man 2: Well, he did have some Man Trouble.
Man 1: He was The Terror. The Rebel Rouser.
Man 2: I'd call it Anger Management issues, but I hear you.
Man 1: You know what he would have said about all that? “I'm Still Here.”
Man 2: That's right. The Wild Ride of life. *heavy sigh
Man 1: Well, he's in a Safe Place now.
Man 2: Up on the Evening Star
Man 1: Or maybe the Back Door To Hell.
Man 2: He was Too Soon To Love.
Man 1: Now he's The Departed. By the way, you wanna know The Last Detail?
Man 2: Give me the Carnal Knowledge
Man 1: The Postman Always Rings Twice.
Man 2: ... What do you mean by that?
Man 1: I don't know. I smoked some Ironweed before I got here.
Man 2: Boy, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest with you, eh?
Man 1: Well ... to Jack Nicholson. The Shining star of Hollywood.
Man 2: To Jack Nicholson. The King Of Marvin Gardens.
(they sit in silence for a moment)
Man 1: I'm hungry. Prizzi's Honour? Grab a slice?
Man 2: No, I'm sick of their pizza. I want to try this new place on The Border of Chinatown.
Man 1: Sure, you wanna Ride In The Whirlwind? You drive. I'll be The Passenger.
Man 2: You got it, Batman.
Man 1: On A Clear Day, You Can See Forever ... but there's probably going to be traffic on the 45, so we should just take the bridge. 
Man 2: Let's pick up The Witches Of Eastwick. They're always down for a slice.
Man 1: Thanks for picking me up.

They leave without paying.