New Dad Diary #2: Preparation

IMAGE BY: STEVE PATRICK ADAMS

IMAGE BY: STEVE PATRICK ADAMS

The baby is almost here and there’s just a few more things to check off the birth preparation list. In no specific order:

  • Paint the baby’s room a fun colour
  • Finish reading parenting books
  • Learn how to fix at least 3 things around the house
  • Try at least half of the drugs you’ve yet to experience
  • Go back to school and get your masters
  • Have two feet firmly planted in a great career
  • Start-up a start-up with your best friend
  • Start a start-up with a sworn enemy
  • Start-up a microbrewery
  • Finish a system of ethics that can withstand rigorous criticism
  • Get confident demanding things on the phone
  • Remember any remaining dreams and fulfill them based on their specific requirements
  • Earn enough money to have some left over for the baby’s education and a middle-of-the-road motorcycle
  • Solve a global crisis
  • Eat the world’s hottest wings
  • Create a viral video using a go-pro
  • Publicly shame someone of significance
  • Bury evidence that could be used against yourself in a public shaming
  • Learn how to dance
  • Learn to stop blaming yourself and to blame others regardless of their innocence
  • Backpack across the rest of the world
  • Complain about couples with kids at least fifty more times
  • Become a late blooming athlete with a great story who joins the major leagues
  • Buy a house and then a second one for when you just need to get out of the city, you know?
  • Eat out for every meal
  • Learn how to survive in the wild
Comment

Steve Patrick Adams

Steve Patrick Adams is a comedian, writer, animator, cartoonist, and soon to be a pretty rad Dad. He has been performing stand-up and sketch comedy for over six years across Canada and has written for such media outlets as Bite TV, CBC Punchline, and Mashable. Steve most recently worked as a producer for Bite TV and has created animations for both the station and for his own site, stevepatrickadams.com. You can see regular webcomics and animations on his site and see him perform live with Chuckle Co. at Comedy Bar in Toronto, and with a variety of other comics at Comedy Works in Montreal. Steve currently resides in Montreal but has spent most of his comedic career in Toronto. Virtually all his gawky teenage years were spent in the small town of Beamsville, Ontario.