By and large, people tend to think of Montreal as a bohemian oasis. A place where one can get by on 15 hour work weeks thanks to blatant corruption driving the cost of living down on a daily basis. But that's just one side of the story...
I moved to Montreal on the eve of my 18th birthday with nothing more than a song in my heart, a bindle flung over my shoulder and big dreams that a creative writing degree from Concordia University would take me straight to the top. And though a creative writing degree from Concordia University proved to be nothing more than an arduous way to burn $20,000, I am happy to report that I did eventually make to the top the same way every talentless hack makes it to the top: release a sex tape.
One thing I wish they'd tell fame-hungry-whores like myself is that things change once a person becomes rich and famous. And by that I mean I have done and seen things on this sordid little island we call home that you cannot possibly imagine.
Lately, I have been seeing friends* through my luxury sedan's tinted windows and I think to myself: "I can't go back into that cave (where the poor and unknown live in darkness)." But then a part of me, a sympathetic part of me buried deep beneath that steely celebrity demeanor thinks about how happy they might be to be enlightened, how nice it might be to show them what it really means to live.
So that's what I'm going to do.
On February 19th and 20th, I will be risky my wealthy-celebrity status to give back to Montreal's plebes that kept me going when the song in my heart was out of tune and the bindle flung over my shoulder was low on cans of beans. I'll show you how Montreal's rich and famous live only at The Brunch Club's A Stand-Up Guide to Montreal.
And if that doesn't entice you, know that fantastic comedians Tranna Wintour, Asaf Gerchak, Travis Cannon, DJ Mausner and Nancy Webb will also be there to cleanse your palette once I'm through with my smuggery and snobbery. James Watts will also be there. James is a good palette cleanser but I'm a lil cross with him because he still owes me for Black Sabbath tickets. Don't get me wrong, I can totally afford the Sabbath because I'm very rich and Ozzy is a close personal friend because I'm very famous, but it's a matter of principle.
*I should say "former-friends" because our friendship could not continue once I had embedded myself in the upper-crust. Me? Friends with poor and unknowns? Can you imagine? The tabloids would have a field day!