3 Very Important Tips For Aspiring Actors

ACTING!

ACTING!

Is there any struggle nobler than trying to make it as an actor?

No. Of course not. Don't be obtuse.

There is plenty to admire about those who dedicate their lives to feeding, clothing and fighting for the rights of the disenfranchised, but it pales in comparison to the process of losing yourself in make believe.

Becoming an actor is an uphill battle that at times feels Sisyphean, but with these bits of advice, it may ease the pain of seeing that boulder roll down that hill every time you don't get the role you had hoped for.

No Small Parts

"There are no small parts, only small actors," was once a popular bumper sticker in the Golden Age of Hollywood and like many bumper stickers before and after its popular, it contained a valuable truth: actors are small. Movie stars, in particular, are rarely taller than 5 feet. Consider shaving off a couple inches by getting your shins removed by a surgeon who operates out of a nearby alley if you're serious about making it as an actor.

Method To Your Madness

Method acting, the technique of immersing oneself in a role typically through unnatural weight fluctuation and staying in character even when grossly inappropriate to do so, has fuelled many of cinema's greatest performances. It can also be used as carte blanche to treat people like crap under the pretence that you are preparing for the role of Total Asshole in an upcoming project. The more deplorable you are while still receiving praise from peers and loved ones for your performance will be invaluable inexperience for when you finally do hit it big in Hollywood and must treat all those beneath you (i.e. people who have not made it in showbiz) like crap.

It's a Dog Eat Dog World

If you continually striking out on getting cast for humanoid roles, consider dog acting. Dogs capable of following direction and emoting in a way that serves the character are a rare breed. So why not corner the market by becoming the world's first and therefore best human-dog actor. If the greatest trick ever played was the Devil convincing the world he didn't exist, then surely convincing a casting director that you can hit the mark and bark better than an actual dog is worthy of similar acclaim--perhaps from the Academy.

Take these tips to heart and we'll see you on the red carpet come February!