SUP LIL BAYBEES?!
In the words of mega-famous and totally relevant froggy rock band Staind, it’s binna while. Has everyone else spent the last few weeks in a full on emo-coaster ride? Good. I’m glad we’re all on the same page. Let’s all take a few minutes to focus on what famous people are doing in an attempt to distract ourselves from the crushing futility of our own wildly unfulfilling lives.
Happy Monday! Here’s a special treat that’s sure to brighten up your day. Could it be a cute cat video? Might it, perchance, be a picture of a guy who looks a little like Bradley Cooper but certainly isn’t Bradley Cooper but told people at Sundance he was Bradley Cooper and somehow managed to convince them he was actually Bradley Cooper and then they freaked out because they finally met their favourite actor, Bradley Cooper? NAH! It’s a series of graphic pre-and-post plastic surgery photos of one of the Teen Moms from Season 3! Congratulations! You now know what an ever so elegantly/tastefully enhanced butt crack looks like.
Rihanna’s highly anticipated ANTI dropped last week. Was its out-of-nowhere release a final-ish attempt to get people to buy into the whole Tidal thing and/or just generally recall it’s existence? Most likely. ANTI is pretty rad and available as a free download (maybe not anymore but I’m far too lazy to look into it) but you’re gonna have to put up with a two month Tidal trial, which seems weirdly annoying. Side note: IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, the more weed Rihanna smokes, the better she sounds. Thank god for marijuana.
Ray Liotta. Looks. Fucking. Crazy. He straight up looks like a stuffed rabbit in these pictures from the SAG awards.
Surprisingly/not-so-surprisingly, I don’t really care about Rob Kardashian’s new romance. I am mildly interested in what caused Blac Chyna to cause a ruckus and call a flight attendant a “nasty ass bitch” when she knew full well she had drugs on her person while flying. JK it was obviously alcohol.
Susan Sarandon’s cleave is the talk of Tinseltown so… that’s… nice, I guess? Was her fine physique/sweet rack/beautiful bazongas/bountiful bosom/majorly sick bewbs/astounding tits the highlight of the SAG awards? I can safely say that yes, they most certainly were. Did I actually bother watching the ceremony? I can safely say that no, I most definitely didn’t. You know who else didn’t SAG this weekend? Huh? Can you see where I was going with that? Forget it. I’m really starting to hate myself.
Kanye, Waves, Amber Rose, Wiz Khalifa, Twitter, blah blah blah, etc.
About an hour ago, I was in an Uber that smelled overwhelmingly like vomit and now I’m pretty sure I do too. Is that how scent/barf /scent of barf works? GET AT ME ON TWITTER (@lamegenerator) AND TELL ME HOW TO RATE MY TRIP! ONE STAR IF YOU HAVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF RESPECT FOR ME! FIVE STARS IF YOU’RE MOST PEOPLE! THE LINES ARE OPEN NOW NOW NOW AND FOREVER BC IT’S THE INTERNET, DUMMY!