I’m not writing an intro this week. I never said I was a role model.
Demi Lovato Inc. has been accused of snatching synth-lines (or something) from BANG-ED RAWK BAND WHO DID THIS ONE SONG BUT ARE GENERALLY INTOLERABLE IMO (BUT ALSO YOU SHOULD TRUST ME BC MY TASTE IS PRISTINE AND IMPECC) Sleigh Bells. Is calling someone out on Twitter for such a thing the best way to resolve this conflict, legally speaking? Erm, possibly. But is there any way on earth you would have thought of Sleigh Bells today/this week/this month/this year/in your entire lifetime had they not made the ‘bloids today? DEF NOT!
Hey ANONYMOUS – ARE ANY GOSS-WORTHY CELEBS ON YOUR LIST OF SECRET-YET-PROMINENT KKK MEMBERS AND IF SO CAN YOU GIVE ME THE EXCLUSIVE?! kthx4allurhardworkbye
Ariana Grande called out two douchebeep radio brosephs for being, well, douchebeep brosephs. It seems like the whole thing should have been a bit less cute, but, unlike Grande, no one gives a shit whether or not I keep things professional. I MEAN, HAVE YOU READ THIS COLUMN PEOPLE?! LOOK AT ALL THESE G.D. CAPS! LOLOLOLOLOMG WAH WAH WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.
Uh, maybe I'm the diva, but neither Kanye West nor Jay Z’s tour riders seem all that bad.
Uh, maybe I'm the diva, but it’s gonna take a few more dick pics for me to fully forgive the Biebs for all that bad behaviour.
Uh, maybe I'm the diva, but I wouldn’t touch Heidi Klum circa Halloween 2015 with a 10-75 foot poll.