Hey guys. Bad news. Summer is practically over. Leaves have already hit the ground. The days are getting shorter. And we can sleep comfortably at night because we're no longer being smothered by humidity.
Yes, another summer will have come and gone by Tuesday (September 1st), but thankfully that means we've still got a few days to have a summer*.
How does one have a summer? Below are a few suggestions for you to get your summer in before the forces of winter blow through.
- Go to the beach and feel the sand between your toes. Ooooo smooth.
- Go to the beach, pick up a shell and put it to your ear. Sounds like the ocean! Nevermind that you're right beside the ocean.
- Go to beach, pick up a shell and put it in your pocket as a keepsake for better days. Put it on a necklace and hold it tight whenever you're in distress.
- Go to the beach, cook up some burgers and play frisbee with them. Careful! They might be hot. Bring some extra oven/frisbee mitts in case your close friends have sensitive hands.
- Go to the beach, fall asleep in the sun, wake up with a sunburn that hurts so bad you can't even put aloe vera on it. Come autumn, you'll be the only person in town with a tan!
- Go to the beach and spin in circles about ankle deep in the water like you're the star of a teen idol's music video.
- Go to the beach with your favourite jerry can of filled with gasoline and burn the mother down.
Now you might be wondering, "What if I can't get to the beach?"
Well, I'm afraid you won't have a summer. Sorry, better luck next year!
Don't worry, we'll take you shopping for a new bathing suit next summer.
*"Have a summah" is a registered trademark of comedian Howard Kremer and we fully acknowledge that it was the basis of this post. Keep those forces of winteh at bay, WeeWee. Converting to Summahtology is a great way to have a summah in any month, btw.