#AskTranna: Family Feuds


Had I not chosen the glamorous career of a standup comedian, I am quite certain I would have been a life coach. My advice has actually helped tens and tens of people get their lives on track. Here, you may write to me in the strictest confidence, knowing that I will do everything to protect your anonymity. I look forward to hearing from you, and helping you in any way I can. I got your back. – Tranna

"Dear Tranna, how can I become more glamorous like you?"

Dear Aspiring Glamazon, 

I love a question that contains a compliment—thank you! I believe that glamour is a way of life. Of course there is superficial glamour, which is all about looking over-the-top gorgeous, like wearing an evening gown with a big slit up the front or wearing fur in the summer. Superficial glamour is easy to pull off: get a few sequined garments, get a pedicure, and get your hair did. Superficial glamour is fun and has its place and I do personally enjoy it very much, but to me real glamour is about how you treat yourself (and others). Loving yourself and celebrating yourself is real glamour. There is nothing more glamorous than letting that love energy radiate. Sheila E. may have said it best in her 1984 hit, “The Glamorous Life”: “She wants to lead a glamorous life, without love, it ain't much.”


"Dear Tranna,

If you follow somebody you love but they don't follow back (F U 2 Grumpy Cat!) should you unfollow them? Asking for a friend."

Dear Unfollower, 

We live in very strange times. People judge their worth by the number of followers they have on social media and the number of 'likes' they receive. People have become so self-involved and obsessed with their own social media output that they don't even want/care to support what others are doing and creating. You don't want to be that person, it's boring. Just as you should not give to receive, you should not follow expecting a follow back. You should follow whoever entertains and inspires you. I personally recommend following Sarah Jessica Parker on Instagram--it's a hoot! I've made peace with the reality that SJP will probably never follow me on Instagram. I've even made peace with the fact that Madonna blocked me on Instagram*. I wouldn't take a cat not following you back too personally. 


*True story

"Dear Tranna,

In my family we celebrate Christmas together each year. Everyone uproots themselves from their respective cities to spend a few days together. The problem? Most of my family can't stand one another and things usually end in shouting matches and slammed doors (or on one ugly occasion a minor physical altercation). How would you recommend surviving the holiday season with people you're obligated to love but don't happen to like all that much?"

Dear Kevin McCallister, 

I've decided to call you Kevin because your situation reminded me of Home Alone. I hope that's alright. My heart goes out to you. Personally I do not believe in obligations. I don't think anyone is obligated to love anyone, even if they are family. That kind of thinking has lead to a lot of unnecessary misery. Life is just way too short to be surrounded by people you don't like or, worse, people who bring negative energy into your life. Familial obligation is something a lot of people feel, but who does it benefit? I think you should spend Christmas with the people you want to spend Christmas with. Or if you want to spend Christmas alone with a pizza and the complete Golden Girls DVD box set, that might be the best Christmas ever. Never feel guilty for doing what's necessary to make yourself happy. Free yourself of obligation and guilt this Christmas! If you absolutely must spend Christmas with the other McCallisters, I suggest you be the peacekeeper (I can tell from the tone of your letter that you probably are and I salute you). Don't get involved in the arguments and fights. Try to remind everyone that you are all together to celebrate the love you have for one another. 

Your fellow peacekeeper,


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