#AskTranna: Dating

Random hot guy on tinder with a cute dog.

Random hot guy on tinder with a cute dog.

Had I not chosen the glamorous career of a standup comedian, I am quite certain I would have been a life coach. My advice has actually helped tens and tens of people get their lives on track. Here, you may write to me in the strictest confidence, knowing that I will do everything to protect your anonymity. I look forward to hearing from you, and helping you in any way I can. I got your back.   – Tranna

"Dear Tranna,

I met this super hot guy on Tinder and hooked up with him on a first date (oopsie). We've hung out a few times since but never before midnight and one thing always leads to you know what. When we talk it's great and I can see myself actually dating this guy but I'm afraid he might just want 'the cookie'. Did I blow it by giving up the goods too soon?"

Dear Cookie, 

I'm so glad to hear someone is getting some hot action with a hot man—what a great way to start off the new year. You did not ruin anything by giving up the goods too soon. Personally, I'm all for sex on the first date. It's the Parisian way. Why invest time in a romantic interest who may end up being horrible in bed? I don't understand the stigma that still surrounds sex on the first date, especially for girls. If that mutual, sexual energy and desire are there on the first date, go for it! There is nothing to feel guilty about. Whether you sleep with him on the first date or on the tenth date, a guy who is only interested in the cookie is still only going to be interested in the cookie. Consequently, you can't build a deeper relationship with someone who's only interested in the cookie and you shouldn't waste your time trying (side note: 'cookie' is shaping up to be my favorite word of 2016). So is this guy really just interested in sex? One can never be totally sure of a man's true intentions, which is why you should allow things to develop between the two of you organically. There is no need for the "where is this going" talk—do not go there. Instead of trying to figure out what he wants, put the focus on you. If you're enjoying the midnight rendez-vous with this guy, I say keep going for it. If the potential for something deeper is there, it will happen. And if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Don't take it personally. You are fabulous. The most important thing is to be true to yourself and your wants/needs. Keep seeing him for as long as it's fun and exciting for you. If you reach a point where you need something more than just a casual affair and he's still got his mind on cookies, ditch him and move on.

Now I'm really hungry for some cookies, 

T


"Dear Tranna,

I’m new to Montreal (originally from Edmonton). Where’s a good place to meet cute guys in this city?" 


Dear Edmonton, 

Welcome to our fair, sexy, broken down city! I hope you're liking it here so far. I try to keep all the cute guys to myself, but I'm going to help you out. I'm in a giving mood. I don't know your gender identity or sexual orientation, so I will try to keep this fairly broad and cover as many bases as I can. I think a great way to meet people is by going to shows—not big concerts, but the fabulous, indie, intimate shows that happen all over the city on every night of the week. The Brunch Club has a weekly show called "Arts and Laughs" at Comedyworks every Tuesday. There's always a great, friendly vibe at that show and it could potentially be a great place to meet some cute guys. Comedy shows in general are a great place to meet people. There are always fabulous, sexy shows happening at The Wiggle Room. Stick around after the shows, have a drink, and mingle! Also, don't discount the online dating thing. Just look at Cookie (read above), she met a really hot guy on Tinder! Despite many reservations, I actually just started doing the online dating. It allows you to be selective and screen out the weirdos, and I think it can be a great way to meet cute guys, but proceed with caution, of course. If you're queer, you should follow @QUEERMTL on twitter and Facebook. They have you covered for all the hottest queer events happening in the city. Just get out there, be open, be confident, and explore! 

Wishing you lots of love and luck in Montreal, 

T  


"Dear Tranna,

What should you do if you find yourself heartbroken and distracted as a result? I have a lot on my plate professionally speaking–it irks me that so much of my energy is being invested in trying to sort through emotional muck."


Dear Heartbroken, 

First of all, you need to go out and get yourself a copy of Melissa Etheridge's album, Skin (or download it, or whatever). It is hands down the best, most comforting breakup album. Stay away from the Celine Dion albums, this is not a time to make things worse for yourself. Comfort is paramount in times of heartbreak. You must be good to yourself during this difficult moment. I know you want to get back to being your regular, productive, focused self, and you will in time, but unfortunately there is no getting around a heartbreak. A heartbreak can't be swept under the rug, just ask Madonna. You have to allow yourself to feel this pain. Don't suppress it or try to bypass it, that will only prolong the grieving process. And it is grief. The end of a relationship is a major loss, but you don't have to allow the grief to overpower you and distract you from the things you care about. Try to be active in this process. Do things that force you to be creative, surround yourself with the people you love and who make you laugh. Laughter and time will heal all. The pain of this loss will subside. I wish I could say when and how, but trust me and everyone who has ever had a broken heart, it will subside. And not only will you be back to your regular self, you'll be a stronger person. This moment of pain is not for nothing. You will learn so much about yourself and your strength from this experience on a conscious and unconscious level.

Sending you lots of love, 

T


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