An Update From The Desk of R.L. Stine

Dear reader,

It is I, the king of creepy, master of mystery, earl of eerie, father of fear, sire of the strange, doyen of the dour, president of the paranormal, perpetuator of petrification, umpire of the uncanny, branch manager of the morose, Mr. R.L. Stine.

Over the past few years I have worked tirelessly on a brand new series of children’s horror novels. A series so sinister, so terrifying, so unbelievably spooky, that the last person who had a chance to read one said he would rather kill himself than have to read another.

Behold: Goosebumps: 666:: True Children's Horror::: Stories of Real Murder That Happened In Real Life, Retold For Children

Listed below are just a handful of the frightful titles found within this new series:

-   Welcome to John Wayne Gacy Jr's House.

-   Night of the Living Dahmer. Jeffrey Dahmer.

-   Monster Blood: Just kidding, It's Your Blood. You Died.

-   Monster Blood 2: It's Someone Else’s Blood:: Just Kidding, It's Still Your Blood. You Died Again.

-   The Girl Who Cried Bundy. Ted Bundy.

-   Stay Out of Ed Geins Basement

-   The Haunted Mask Made of My Victims Flesh.

-   The Haunted Mask Made of My Victims Flesh 2: Still Haunted.

-   The Haunted Mask 3D.

You will find excerpts from a few of these spooky titles attached to this newsletter. Please and enjoy and don’t get too spooked! After all: they’re only books!

OR ARE THEY? Just kidding, ha-ha! I’m R.L. Stine.

Reader beware, you’re in for a scare!

 

Stay Out of Ed Geins Basement - p34

I felt a chill down my spine as Mary and I approached the basement door.

"Mary, I don’t think this is such a good idea! We were strictly told not to go into this particular basement!" I whispered, while being super scared.

"Oh can it Bernice, you're such a wimp! What do you think’s gonna happen? Someone’s just gonna pop out, cut off our skin, fashion it into a mask and wear it around like a crazy person?" she replied.

"I'm no wimp!" I said, though my stomach felt full of creepy crawlies, crawling around my tum tum.

The floorboards creaked under our steps, the wind blew ragged curtains around, and a silhouette of a black cat arching it’s back appeared somewhere. There was also a full moon out. Mary put her hand on the knob of the basement door.

"I'm not doin’ it alone, Bernice!" she yelped, but quietly so as to not arouse the suspicions of unwanted murder men.

I placed my hand over Mary's. Together we turned the knob, our hands trembling with fear. The door swung open.

"BOO! I'M ED GEIN! REST IN PEACE! CHOP, SLICE, FILLET!”

END OF EXCERPT.

 

Welcome To John Wayne Gacy Jr's House -  p52

I felt a cold bead of sweat drip down my back as Darrell and I approached the front door.

"Darrell, I don’t think this is such a good idea! We were strictly told never to visit John Wayne Gacy Jr, especially at his own home!" I whispered, while being super scared.

"Oh zip it Greg, you're such a ding dong! What do you think’s gonna happen? You think John Wayne Gacy Jr. is just gonna open that door, force us into illegal sex stuff, murder us, and then hide our bodies in his crawl space or beneath his dining room floor?" he replied.

"I'm no ding dong! I said, though my stomach felt full of creepy crawlies, crawling around my tum tum.

The floorboards creaked under our steps, the wind blew ragged curtains around, and a silhouette of a black cat arching it’s back appeared somewhere. There was also a full moon out. Darrell put his hand on the knob of the basement door.

"I'm not doin’ it alone Greg!" he yelped, but quietly so as to not arouse the suspicions of unwanted murder men.

I placed my hand over Darrell's. Together we turned the knob, our hands trembling with fear. The door swung open.

"BOO! I'M JOHN WAYNE GACY JR! REST IN PEACE! CHOP, SLICE, CLOWNS!”

END OF EXCERPT.