29 Observations I've Made Since My Last Cup of Coffee

1. It has been 4 days, 5 hours, 33 minutes and 21 seconds since my last cup of coffee.

2. I have an extra $4.15 in my pocket at the end of each day. 

3. I'm saving just over $1,500 a year if I make it a full 365 days without spending $4.15 on my morning latte.

4. What good is money if you can't spend it on a piping hot coffee?

5. My blood pressure is lower.

6. I really don't care about blood pressure.

7. I'm sleeping more.

8. Sleep is where I experience most of my nightmares.

9. My ups and downs have evened out.

10. I miss the caffeine highs and crashes because I at least felt something.

11. I'm less anxious.

12. My therapist and I talked about the weather for an hour.

13. I'm taking fewer trips to the bathroom.

14. The work day is long when I have no excuse to use the bathroom as refuge from responsibility ten times a day.

15. My teeth are whiter and healthier.

16. I'd pull out every single tooth myself for a drop of coffee.

17. I don't care about anything anymore.

18. I would do anything for coffee.

19. Please.

20. Let me have a sip of coffee.

21. I'm desperate.

22. I don't care what Dr. Ross said.

23. Dr. Ross can shove his diagnosis up his ass.

24. Fine. If you're not going to let me have some coffee, I guess I'll call my sister to see if her guest room is free because I am not sleeping here tonight.

25. Please, Tanya. Just one cup. I know it's late and the doctor said if I didn't cut coffee out of my diet, the ulcer was only going to get bigger, but I need it.

26. Fine! If you're not going to brew me up a cup, I guess I'll just have to take matters into my own hands! 

27. Yes, hi. Can I get a venti latte and a venti black coffee?

28. Oh fuck that's good. 

29. Let's runaway together, coffee.