1. It has been 4 days, 5 hours, 33 minutes and 21 seconds since my last cup of coffee.
2. I have an extra $4.15 in my pocket at the end of each day.
3. I'm saving just over $1,500 a year if I make it a full 365 days without spending $4.15 on my morning latte.
4. What good is money if you can't spend it on a piping hot coffee?
5. My blood pressure is lower.
6. I really don't care about blood pressure.
7. I'm sleeping more.
8. Sleep is where I experience most of my nightmares.
9. My ups and downs have evened out.
10. I miss the caffeine highs and crashes because I at least felt something.
11. I'm less anxious.
12. My therapist and I talked about the weather for an hour.
13. I'm taking fewer trips to the bathroom.
14. The work day is long when I have no excuse to use the bathroom as refuge from responsibility ten times a day.
15. My teeth are whiter and healthier.
16. I'd pull out every single tooth myself for a drop of coffee.
17. I don't care about anything anymore.
18. I would do anything for coffee.
20. Let me have a sip of coffee.
21. I'm desperate.
22. I don't care what Dr. Ross said.
23. Dr. Ross can shove his diagnosis up his ass.
24. Fine. If you're not going to let me have some coffee, I guess I'll call my sister to see if her guest room is free because I am not sleeping here tonight.
25. Please, Tanya. Just one cup. I know it's late and the doctor said if I didn't cut coffee out of my diet, the ulcer was only going to get bigger, but I need it.
26. Fine! If you're not going to brew me up a cup, I guess I'll just have to take matters into my own hands!
27. Yes, hi. Can I get a venti latte and a venti black coffee?
28. Oh fuck that's good.
29. Let's runaway together, coffee.